And We Go On
by Arcadian Rapture
Summary: I was left with faded dreams and wishful thinking - but then you came home.
1. Never Say Never

**Author's Note** Second, _second_ version of this story. Much more improved. I like this so much more than the original, anyways. Unauthorized system restore + no backed up files = Very sad day. A lot of things are changed, I switched it up a bit.

**Warnings** Boy love, betrayal, teen angst, AU, language, prolific use of LMFAO songs (My life.) – If I come up with more along the way, I'll let you know beforehand.

**Pairings** For your entrée today, we have a large order of Axel/Roxas, with a side of Zexion/Demyx, Riku/Sora, Roxas/Reno, and a medium Axel/Larxene to drink. Enjoy your meal.

**Disclaimer** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or any other fandom/songs/quotes, whatever else can be copy wrote. I own a cat named Sora, but that's about it.

* * *

**v1.0  
Never Say Never**

* * *

When someone loses their mother, emotions break loose. I had never seen a man break down like this before, not like he did. But she was his entire world; she was his oxygen, his sun, his moon, his stars, his entire universe. When we entered the church, and the casket was in plain sight, he became the broken man that I'm looking at now. The never-ending tears just kept flowing and I had no immediate plan on how to help him. He was my best friend and I couldn't comfort him the way that I wanted to. He was knelt down beside the open coffin, his hand gripping the cold flesh of hers inside like a lifeline. He kept screaming apologies.

_Sorry I wasn't a better son.  
Sorry I couldn't protect you from all of this.  
Sorry I never gave you grandchildren at an early age.  
Sorry I never told you I loved you every single day.  
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry._

He apologized for everything he thinks he did wrong, but she knew better. Even in her death, she's probably watching over him as we speak, yelling at him to stand up and be a man and stop crying over her. That's just how she was. He only knew that she was gone. Her illness had come on so suddenly, it was something that none of us were prepared for – especially Axel. He never let on how much he cared about his mother. We all knew better; we could read him like an open book when it came to her. And in all the years that I've known him, I've never seen him cry. Not until today. He didn't cry when she passed, he didn't cry when everyone else around him cried. Though today, seeing his mother lying lifeless in her casket struck him harder than anything else. Axel finally understood that she's not coming back, that this isn't a joke and she won't be there in the morning to make him waffles just the way he liked them or scold him for saying something perverted to me or his friends.

The day after the service, I was sitting outside his house in his car, his '66 cherry red mustang, my mind going haywire with so many different thoughts while he was inside packing. This is what he needed, to get away from Undine Market and never look back. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it would be in his best interest. Yet, I loved him but I didn't have the courage to tell him. I would always sit off to the side, smiling when he had somebody to love, when he had someone to hold onto at night, even if it wasn't me – Because we were best friends, and I wanted him to be happy – even if it wasn't with me.

Before I had the chance to fully sulk over my depression, he returned with two big suitcases full of his clothes. Once he threw them in the backseat and back behind the wheel, he sped off in silence. No eye contact, no music, nothing. The windows were rolled up so the wind couldn't rid us of this heartbreaking silence.

He parked curbside, close to the loading platform at the train station. I grabbed one of the bags and followed him, my eyes firmly staring at the ground below me. Still, we didn't speak to each other as we approached the actual train itself.

_Now is your chance, Roxas!_ My conscience was cheering_, Just fucking _do _it!_ So I did.

"Axel?" I looked up, startled to see his emerald eyes already locked onto my own, "I…I…" Well, I tried. It was so damn hard to tell him, especially since he was leaving. How could I…? I closed my eyes tightly, fighting back the tears when I felt cool fingers trace gently along my jaw. My hands dropped the suitcase I was holding and instinctively flew up to curl around his. I leaned into his touch, exhaling sharply to prolong to moment, "Roxas." I heard him murmur as I stepped closer to him.

This wasn't the end, it wasn't over. "Axel," I tried again. I repeated to myself that he was leaving and that this would be easier, because if I get rejected, I don't have to see him tomorrow. He won't be here tomorrow…"Axel, I don't want you to go." He sighed, dropping his bag simultaneously, his hands entangling themselves into his red spikes angrily.

"Why are you doing this to me, Rox?" Axel groaned, his hands moving to his face and rubbing, "You make this so fucking hard." I couldn't stop the tears this time. They started to flow freely down my face as I just stood there, staring at him. He grabbed my shoulders, took another look at me, suddenly pulling me into a tight embrace. Burying his face into my hair, I could tell this affected him just as much. "You're my best friend." He kept repeating, a mantra designed only for them, as if saying this would make all the bad things go away and he could stay.

But we both knew that it wouldn't. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let all my emotions go, sobbing loudly into his chest. There are just so many things I still have to tell him. I figured now would be a good time to do so.

"Axel," I mumbled loudly against his chest, he hummed in acknowledgment, "I…love you." I had never told him this, even as best friends. We hadn't even joked around about it. And because of that, he has to know that I mean it.

Axel nuzzled against the top of my head and I could feel him smile, "Roxas…" He pulled back for a moment and tilted my chin, "I love you." He instantaneously placed his lips upon my own. It was the single most heartbreaking thing I have experienced, yet it only lasted for a moment. He started to move away from me, but I held on tighter.

"Don't let me go." I whined, my eyes looking everywhere but at him. Another sigh, and he hugged me close again, his head tilted back and looking towards the train. Axel rubbed my back absentmindedly. An announcement came over the P.A. system a few minutes later, stating that the train would be leaving and any other passengers need to board immediately.

This was it, this was the last time Axel would ever pull away from me, "I'm sorry, Rox. But this is goodbye." He stated, wiping a stray tear from my face and seizing his bags. He flashed one last sad smile before he stepped onto the train. I stood there, awestruck. Axel…gone? No, it's impossible. The train started chugging again, and I didn't care how cliché this was, but I ran. I ran so fast after it and I could see his horror-stricken face in the window.

I kept screaming for him, hoping someone, anyone, would hear me and stop the train. No such luck. While running, I tripped and fell to my knees that had gotten scraped during the fall. Blood was accumulating at the skin while I just sat there, hands limp at my sides and tears falling.

A worker approached me since I refused to move for almost an hour and helped me up, asking me where I was parked. He walked me to the car, _his_ car. Once inside the vehicle, I drove off back to where it all started, back to his house. I sat in the car, much like I did earlier, and traced a finger along the steering wheel.

"I love you." I repeated, this time to the car. It was the last memoir I had of him, and I'm sure he did that on purpose. I looked in the rear view mirror, seeing an envelope sitting on the seat. What a romantic, I chuckled through the tears as I picked it up, seeing that it was addressed to me. My fingers trembled as I moved to open it up and pull the paper out. The line paper was stained in a few places, making the words almost unreadable. He cried…

_Roxas,_

_I'm so sorry, but we'll meet again. I promise – Never say never._

_I love you,  
Axel._

* * *

All these years, and that letter still sits on my desk, overlooking outside. I look at it every single day, a constant reminder of what I once had and what I want again. Every night, I sit at my window of the house I've lived at ever since I met him, hoping, wishing, that today will be the day he comes home. And he never does.

But I don't cry every night anymore, because the only solid foundation of sanity I have left is here, my dearest childhood friend, the one I ignored for Axel. He moved in when my parents moved out, he knew I was in no state to be left alone. With Sora, it was easier to deal with. He's nothing but smiles and laughter.

Except on September twelfth, then he spends the night in my room, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep like I do every year on that day.

"Roxas?" A soft knock was reverberating through my room, "Are you alright?" I turned my body towards the door, waiting for him to walk in. When he did, I smiled.

"Absolutely." Was it that time of year again already?

Sora was next to me within moments, he caught on that I had forgotten the date. Both of his arms quickly went around my shoulders, pulling me close to his body.

"I'm n-" I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't fake happiness like I knew what the date was. I lost track of time, and yet, in turn, didn't realize how quickly the time had flown. I started crying when his embrace tightened. After all this time, three years later, I was still in love with Axel Rossi and he was nowhere to be found.

Hours passed before I finally calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence, though I had tried many other times before this, "Sora, can you…Can you take me to her?" He knew who I meant.

_His_ mother's grave. I brought bright red roses to her tombstone, a reminder for both her and myself; a reminder to make her son that much more real, because after his disappearance, it's almost like he was just a dream. Sora waited in the Mustang, as I knelt down in front of the grave, placing the bouquet softly on top.

"Hi again, Mrs. Rossi." I wanted to show her the respect that she deserved, even after death, "It's been a whole year since the last time I was here, and I'm sorry. It's just so hard, you know? He still hasn't come back and I haven't gotten any word from him." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down the aching in my heart. "I know I shouldn't be so negative, but I don't know…I don't think he will ever come back. But maybe he has!" I laughed at my hopefulness, "Maybe he has come to visit you and just not m…Who knows, right? Miracles can happen. I'm sure you already know what today is, and I miss you, Mrs. Rossi. I miss you so much. I miss coming over every night for your amazing Chicken Alfredo dinners and having it topped off with your delicious Tiramisu dessert." I smiled at the memory, "You truly were the epitome of a true Italian, Mrs. Rossi and your son was, and I'm sure he still is, very proud of you. He always was. I have to go now, though. Sora's waiting in the Mustang, which we're taking very good care of. I love you, Mrs. Rossi."

I stood, fixing my shirt and wiping away an escaped tear, waving to the grave. I turned, jogging back to where Sora was waiting and jumped in the car.

"Ready to go?" I smiled, which seemed to shock Sora a bit before he composed himself and nodded, driving off to go home.

We arrived shortly and I went straight to my room. Today was still the day and it still upset me. When I moved to lie down in my bed, Sora came with me and repeated what he's been doing for three years. September twelfth, a day nobody will ever forget. Even as I lay here, praying that tomorrow, I'll wake up and Axel will be the one holding me like this, his suitcases wide open and waiting to be unpacked in front of my bed. But I know it won't happen. He left three years ago and hasn't written, hasn't called. I don't even know if he's still alive, yet every single damn day, I think of him.

Every second. Every minute. Every hour.

And the day he left still hurts so bad, the wound is still fresh in my body and my heart aches like it's going to burst from sadness. Sora can feel my body tense up to cope with the pain and holds me tighter.

"It'll be okay, Roxas. I promise." He cooed, kissing the back of my head softly.

_Don't let me go_.

* * *

**A/N** The Fray – "Never Say Never"; if you listen to it while reading this, it gets emotional. Legit.


	2. Meet Me Halfway

**Author's Note** Super revised chapter 2. I kind of backed out of my original idea of what I previous had for this chapter and switched it up a bit. But Axel is still an asshole.

* * *

**v2.0  
Meet Me Halfway**

* * *

That last thing that was running through my mind was shopping, as Sora so deemed as a picker-upper for my mood. "Sora," I chastised, "I don't really see how this is going to make me feel better."

A huff and a grunt were his response as he put on the clothes he was wearing last night; we hadn't bothered to move last night. Whenever Sora got into his moods, he turned into a tornado of emotions and it was in your best interest to stay out of the wake of destruction. His hands gripped the steering wheel of the Mustang as he concentrated, mumbling something about which stores to take me to.

"Sora," I called out again, sighing, "Can you please talk to me?"

His azure eyes looked up at me, a hidden spark glistening, "What is it, my baby Roxas?"

"Why are we going to the mall?"

"I got a call about a party going on. And you need to get out of the house." He said as casually as possible. I guess he got tired of me staying cooped up inside my own personal Hell and shutting out the rest of the world besides him.

When we had entered the large mall, all my worries and cares seemed to dissipate with the revolving doors. Sora took my hand and pulled me from store-to-store – Hollister, American Eagle, Aeropostle, PacSun, Hot Topic – You name it, we went there.

We had only conquered half of the store by lunch time, starting with the more casual stores before upgrading to the big boys and heading into Armani. When we arrived at the food court, I headed straight for my usual – Chao Cajun – There was something about the bourbon chicken dripping with sauce that sent sensual shivers down my spine every time a delectable little piece entered my mouth.

Wiping the drool away from my mouth, I waited in line to order, fingers idly tapping the tray sliding along the metal at an agonizingly slow pace. I was humming a tune to myself when I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.

As I turned, my life flashed before my eyes – I recalled my childhood and when I first learned how to ride a bike, up until about high school, where I met Axel in my freshman year and he was in his junior year, to the day he left, to today. Those familiar teal eyes were burning into my soul, "Roxas?"

My heart stopped, I swear to God, it did. Staring at this man before me, I lost my voice. I wasn't sure how to respond. "R-R-Re-" Frogs seemed to take refuge in my vocal chords, I didn't know what to say; What _could_ I say?

_Oh hey there, does this mean the dickhead is back, too?_

Yep. Perfect. "Reno?"

"Hey, little buddy! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, what brings you here?" The man questioned me. _Reno_ – Axel's older brother, but near exact twin – Was standing before me, his red hair pulled back into a pony tail and those teal eyes just _staring_ at me, as if knowing my every thought.

And I still had to go into Armani; shopping trip officially ruined. I had a three year faded imagery of who left me behind; I had put his family on the backburner for the day only to have them brought back to the forefront of my cerebellum. It's so much more real when I see a legitimate human being standing before me who is nearly an _exact_ replica of the one I loved. This was beyond mind blowing.

It was a full-on mind fuck.

"Rox – Oh hey, Reno, didn't expect to see you so early." Sora chimed in from behind. _What?_

"Yeah, had to pick up a few things and as I was leaving, I spotted Blondie here and decided to see if it was really him. Bro's waiting for me back at the house, been blowin' up my phone to hurry my ass up. So I'll see you guys tonight, later!"

_Son of a _bitch.

It wasn't just _some_ party Sora was dragging me to, it's a fucking _Welcome Home_ party. For the _Rossi brother_s.

Axel was back in town.

Axel. Is back. In town.

Oh, my God. He's back in town.

I couldn't decide if maybe it was too soon to be seeing him or maybe it was perfect timing. Either way, I waved Reno off and didn't bother to ask any questions because I knew I wouldn't be receiving any answers any time soon. So after Sora and I finished our food, he pulled me into Armani. I now decided that it was not just a party, but a special occasion and I needed to look sexier than usual. I had to impress the redhead once more, show him what he left behind. That works in movies, right? – So why not real life.

Once inside the high fashion retail store, my eyes settled on a pair of black slacks that seemed form-fitting and a black, pin-striped vest. Sora demanded I go in with at least a couple more outfits to satisfy his gay tendencies. Trying on the ones I knew that I _didn't_ want first, I saved the very best for last; putting on the outfit I had originally spotted and staring at myself in the mirror – I practically made myself hard. The vest's last button landed just above my belly button, the pants hanging quite low on my hips; so much skin was being revealed. Sora was getting antsy on the other side of the dressing room door.

"Come on, Rox-_as_. I want to see this _totally super awesome outfit _you picked out." He mimicked me. I pushed the door open slowly, the tension and anticipation rising. Once the door fully opened and Sora had a good look at me, his jaw dropped.

"What the _fuck_, Rox?" He screamed, "You're drop dead fucking _sexy._"

"Thanks, I try." I deadpanned, walking back into the small cubicle casually to change back into the clothes I had come here in. Leaving the other few outfits hanging on the small metal hook, I took the outfit I had planned from the beginning to the cashier.

As we left the mall, for some odd reason, I felt this surge of confidence throughout my body. My step had a new spring in it, carrying the Armani bag back to the Mustang. Sora must have noticed because when he looked over at me, he giggled. I couldn't help it – I felt so…_hot_.

The next few hours were agonizing as we got ready for this party Sora invited us to. After dousing my hair with an entire bottle of hairspray, I rushed into my room and threw on the outfit I had just bought earlier. As I stood there, looking at myself, I felt as though something was missing.

Apparently, so did Sora, as he handed me a pair of Aviator sunglasses, "I figured you'd want these later on." The arms slid behind my ears and I smirked at myself.

"Perfect."

* * *

Driving down the familiar streets, we finally arrived at the Rossi residence. Nervous – Yes; Excited – _Fuck _yes. This was my chance, _time to shine, Roxas; time to show him what he left behind._

_When I walk in the spot, this is what I see.  
Everybody stops and they're staring at me._

When my foot crossed the threshold of their front door, the pounding beats hit me like a tidal wave. All eyes were on me, knowing exactly who I was.

_I got passion in my pants, and I ain't afraid to show it –  
I'm sexy and I know it._

I took the sunglasses off and put them into my back pocket, as I walked through the crowd – confidence pouring out from every fiber of my being – trying to find the redheaded host from earlier and grabbing a shot glass as I passed the snack table set up in the foyer. Expectedly, Reno found me first, my blonde spikes probably making me most recognizable amongst the crowd, a couple more shots in his hand.

He handed one to me and I immediately downed it, Sora was watching me from the table and simply just _laughing_ at me. Another song, something about Shots, started blasting through the house and it triggered something inside me. Putting the glass down, I grabbed Reno's wrist and pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear, "Dance with me?"

He nodded and led me to the middle of the floor; Reno turned me, back-to-chest, and hands gripping at my waist as his body knelt down to my level and started rocking us side to side. It was slowly, at first, until the song started to pick up a dirty undertone and all my inhibitions and worries and fears flew out the window. I came here with newfound confidence and to show Axel what he's been missing – What better way than dancing with his brother?

_I'm such a slut._

My arm moved up to wrap behind his neck as his hands slipped down to my thighs, his pelvis grinding into my backside and vice versa. It must have been a show because when I looked back, the crowd had backed away and started watching us, catcalling and taking video of the spectacle.

_If you're feeling drunk, put your hands in the air.  
And if you're trying to fuck, put your hands in the air._

Reno took both of my hands into his and raised them into the air in response to the song, causing the rest of the partygoers to do the same. Yet, before I had time to really react, another set of red hair appeared in front of me. I almost hyperventilated as another set of hands found their way onto my body. I turned to see Sora at the front of the crowd, his jaw dropped as he stared at my horrorstricken face.

_You lucky fuck_, Sora mouthed. He was jealous. Hell, if I was anyone else, I would be to – Being in a Rossi brother sex sandwich was something I would never want to forget. Soon after the second showed, the Reno-bread on my backside disappeared almost instantaneously.

Axel took over for him, it seemed, as he picked up one of my legs and wrapped it around his waist, my arms wrapping around his neck as he ground into me. His head dipped and I felt something warm and wet against my neck – His tongue.

Isn't this the moment I had been waiting for for three years? The music had changed to another heavy beat that caused Axel to press against me even harder. I want to talk to him, not fuck him on the dance floor.

But if you can't beat them, join them, right? Shut up, it's logical.

I felt a hot breath next to my ear, I could feel the smile as he whispered, "_We just want to see you shake that._" He sang along with the song, turning me around, his hands sliding up and down my sides. The dancing continued until the song was over, but when it was, I was so exhausted. I could have sworn my body was about to break as he pulled me off the dance floor and into a quiet room located in the back of the house. He sat me on the bed, he in a desk chair and just stared at me.

Awkward silence overcame and my cheeks became flushed, I was so nervous. I didn't know what to say – at all.

"So," He began. His voice – _Nng_ – was just a faded memory but hearing it again, it sounds like a choir of Angels singing at me, "You were dancing with my brother."

"Mhmm." _Smooth, Roxas_.

Axel seemed displeased with my answer as he scooted the chair closer, "Why? And what's with this outfit?"

"I wanted to, that's why. And I like this outfit. It cost me over three hundred dollars." I stated simply, as if that was the easiest answer in the world. My redhead groaned, placing his head in his hands.

"But why would you want to dance with my _brother_?" He questioned again, his emerald eyes gazing into my own.

I sighed, I had to tell him the truth. I was incapable of coming up with a lie and being able to coherently pass it off as the truth, "I wanted to get back at you." What he did next, I didn't expect – He _laughed_.

He just burst into fits of laughter. "I wasn't joking, you know." I confirmed, anger starting to boil along with embarrassment. Axel noticed how upset he had made me and moved even closer, his hands landing on my shoulders.

"It doesn't matter either way, Rox. It's just dancing, y'know?" He said matter-of-factly.

My heart was swelling at the words, _just dancing_? Was that really all it was? "Just…dancing? So it didn't work?"

Another chuckle, "Why would I get upset, Rox? I was just dancing with you like old times. This isn't a _Welcome Home_ party, I thought Reno told you?"

"Told me? Told me what…"

"It's my engagement party."

My world just shattered into ten thousand little pieces; I couldn't breathe right, my heart was hurting and racing, my head was swimming with unanswered questions and I was just so…_mad_! "What." Not even a question, just my temper speaking of its own accord.

"To your cousin, Larxene." He continued.

I scoffed. The tears starting to form at my eyes and my anger just kept building and building until I had stood up, "Had to keep it in the family, huh." I spat at him, and before he could react, my fist had impacted with his cheek, sending him sprawling on the floor next to the chair and I left. On my way out, I grabbed Sora and headed back to the car, Reno catching up with us on the way out.

"Rox, hey, where are you going? What happened?" His voice was panicked, he didn't want me to leave. I used my free hand to wipe away my now-flowing tears and smiled a sad smile up at him, "You didn't tell me it was an engagement party. Thanks for telling me he's marrying my cousin."

Reno's face paled, he was wearing a look at seemed to say, _Oh, I didn't mean for you to find out this way_. I took his hand in mine and pulled him down, kissing him softly on his cheek, "Thanks for inviting me, I had a good time. Maybe we could do this again." It was a heartbroken invitation, a rebound, but I didn't care.

Neither did Reno, "I'll call you."

* * *

When we had arrived back at my apartment, the only thing I did was rush into my room, throw myself on my bed and just let it all go. My face buried into the pillow that had Sora's cinnamon scent coated into the fabric, I cried. I cried my heart out as Sora stood in the doorway, watching me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rox." He said as he crawled into the bed next to me, a hand softly wrapping around my waist and pulling me close to him. I moved from the pillow to the crook of his neck and continued to cry, mumbling apologies about getting his shirt soaking wet with my tears and he just patted my head and whispering sweet nothings into my ear, trying to be soothing.

For the second night in a row, I cried myself to sleep.

_I can't go any further than this._

* * *

**A/N** EHUA. I want a Reno and Axel sandwich with LMFAO playing in the background. Hmmph.

_Party rock is in the hoooouse toni-_  
**Roxas:** Shut up.  
'kay. QQ


	3. Beautiful Monster

**Quick Disclaimer** The one derogatory comment made in this chapter is not made to offend, or upset anyone. It's only to express the moment. I apologize if it's offending any readers.

**Author's Note** _Nng_ – Roxas and Reno. I love me, you might not, but I sure do.

* * *

**v3.0****  
Beautiful Monster**

* * *

The following day, I made no move to get out of bed, my eyes tracing imaginary shapes along the popcorn ceiling. Last night's party turned into the biggest disaster of my life. It was too soon for us to meet, that's all. What he said was just a defense mechanism, right? – A way to pretend that he wasn't hurt. Three years ago, he said he loved me. Now what? He's marrying my own cousin. She isn't even pretty.

Whenever I replay the party in my head, I go from blushing furiously then to furious, in general. As I thought about dancing with Axel's twin brother, Reno, my heart raced. I have to admit that there is a definite attraction. Not because of actual feelings (_I think_.), but because I feel closer to Axel whenever I'm with Reno.

Does it even really matter, though? It all comes down to the fact that something had to have happened within the past three years that has made him do a complete three sixty and suddenly have this attraction to females (_If Larxene is even really considered…_female_._), or maybe he always was. Maybe I was fooling myself into believing he was attracted to me. I want to ask Reno everything, to just spill my heart out and hope he pities me enough to tell me what was going on. But I expect that if I flat out asked, "_Hey, just wondering when your brother stopped being a fag._" I'd get slapped or told, "Ask him yourself." Sora was never remotely close to Axel, so asking him to venture into the Lion's den is too much. My next course of action?

Easy. Someone who was Axel's _other_ best friend, the Mistress to our friendship, the only one I could trust to gather accurate information – For a small fee of juicy information on a certain little brunette.

_Riku_.

Mistress Riku was the mediator, so to speak. He refereed any fights that Axel and I were found in. We only spoke while the redhead was around, but we were kind of good friends, I guess. I haven't actually spoken to him since the day after Axel's departure at the train station. He might not recognize the number and ignore the call, but I'm desperate. I might be using him now, but who knows. Maybe we can rekindle our friendship or some other sappy shit you see in movies.

I scooted out of the bed, trying not to disturb Sora who was inconveniently blocking the sensible exit of my bed and snoring loudly. I walked over to my night stand, picking up my Samsung Galaxy, quickly scrolling my contacts to the _R_ section. Clicking the green "Send" button, my breath hitched.

I was nervous.

It rang twice before it clicked on to a groggy voice, "'ello?" I guess he did delete my number if he was questioning who was calling.

I gulped audibly, stuttering embarrassingly, a stupid habit of mine, "R-Riku?"

He must have recognized my voice because I could hear fabric rubbing together, then thumping onto the floor in a frantic manner, the tiredness in his voice falling with the sheets, "_Roxas_?"

"Hey." I elongated the 'ey' part longer than I should have. Mentally slapping myself, I started thinking of ways to casually pull myself out of this abnormally awkward situation.

"Holy _shit_, man! How have you been? It's been one hell of long time since we last spoke." His laughter was boisterous, echoing through the phone, "This is a random wake up call, but fantastic! Hey, are you busy later? We could catch up, you know, face-to-face. Oh man! I can't believe you're still alive!"

It took me a few minutes to catch up with his end of the excitement. I had to repeat everything back to myself slowly to fully understand what was going on. I know I haven't talked to him in years, but it's like our once-dead friendship is being rebuilt in five minutes, "Hey, Riku. I've been better and I know it's been a while. I'm not really busy, just with Sora. And sure, where do you want to meet up?" I sighed, "It'd be great to catch up, besides, and I'm done with being depressed and antisocial."

"Excellent." He sighed, "You still at the same place? What am I thinking? Of course you are. I'll swing by around two this afternoon, be ready!" We said our goodbyes and I placed my phone back on the night stand, my wrist being grabbed by a hand protruding from under the covers.

I stared at that hand, a hundred thoughts running through my head simultaneously. I called Riku up out of the blue and then, bam! He wants to hang out. Not even a question as to why I called. He was a lot like Sora in some ways; I suppose that's why I always hung out with him before Axel left. He just radiated happiness.

I tugged on my hand, causing the pale fingers to tighten against my skin, "So-_ra_, what do you want?"

"Who was that?" A muffled voice called out, seemingly scared.

"Your favorite person in the entire world, whom we have a date with at two." That news alone was more than enough to get Sora to jump out of the bed. It was like telling a little girl that it was Christmas morning and she got a new puppy – He was on his feet in no time, rushing quickly to my dresser to find something to wear.

Sora _loves_ Riku.

But for all we knew, it was one-sided. Riku never spoke to anyone about his feelings, much less Sora. Riku was also famous for being my brunette's _other_ best friend, but he was either too preoccupied fantasizing about said Silverette or too scared. I tried not to speak to him since he, Axel, and I were equivalent to the three musketeers before Mrs. Rossi passed away. Afterwards, we all broke apart and never spoke to each other again – She was our glue, our rock. She wasn't just Axel's mother; she was mine and Riku's as well.

Those were the days I try to forget, especially after last night. Unfortunately, Sora couldn't stay away from him. And even though he would tip-toe around my questions, I always knew. The days he would leave my house, wearing a nice shirt and some of my Usher cologne, he tried to pass it off as a job interview or something equally impossible for him.

"Sor," I chuckled, watching him hurriedly sprint around the room, "I'll head down and cook us some pancakes while you get ready."

By '_us_', I meant myself; because we were meeting Riku, I knew better. Sora will lock himself in the bathroom, making sure every aspect of his appearance was absolutely perfect, which normally took until we had to leave, and then wait until his Knight in Shining Armor, Sir Riku, offered him lunch.

* * *

Spending the day with Riku was more fun than I had originally expected. He took us to the local ice skating rink that we used to spend hours at with Axel and Reno, then headed to Sora's favorite Ice Cream parlor, Twilight Twisty Treat. It was complicated trying to catch up with Riku with Sora distracting me by continuously staring at him like Riku was the waffle cone filled with Vanilla ice cream, topped with those ever-so-satisfying rainbow sprinkles that he was eating instead of the actual treat he was holding.

"So, Roxas," Riku turned all his attention to me, much to Sora's dismay, "How have you _really_ been? I heard they were back."

I dabbed at my mouth with a napkin, removing any embarrassingly placed ice cream that might have taken refuge on my face before I responded, "I've been better. And yeah, they are. We went to their party last night." I kept my eyes focused on my hands, attempting to hide the obvious sadness in my voice.

He sighed heavily, "Oh? I was going to go but I had a few things to take care of, so I didn't have the time. Fill me in?"

This is when Sora decided to stop acting like a school girl and join in on the conversation coherently, "Reno invited us to the party, we go, Roxas gets thrown into a Rossi brother sex-sandwich, and then finds out Axel is really marrying his cousin, Larxene."

_Oh my God_. Sora keeps his mouth shut for everything else, but you set him in front of Riku and he word vomits whatever information the Silverette wants to know.

Riku looked shocked, "Marrying _Larxene_?" I nodded, and upon confirmation, he doubled over in laughter, "A-are you serious?"

I pouted, "Yes! It's not funny. He's the biggest tease on the planet. He was all over me, and then goes, 'Oh, bee-tee-double U, me and Larxene? Yeah, we're getting married.' Who does that?"

"Okay, okay, you're right." Riku calmed himself down after noticing how upset I was getting, "But in all honesty, this doesn't sound like him. Why would he marry a _girl_? He loved you to death. He never shut up about you!" He chuckled, recalling the past, "I remember when you weren't around, it was still always about you. 'Roxas this' or 'Roxas that'. He had a different story about you every day, 'Riku, man! You would never guess what _Roxas_ said today!' You'd have thought you two were dating."

_I wish_. I sighed at the new information, Axel never told me he talked about me. Had I known earlier, I might not have waited until he left.

Riku continued with his walk down memory lane, "Roxas, you were his _everything_. You say his mother was his world, maybe she was. But you? – You were his _universe_. He practically worshipped the ground you walked on. We always asked him why he wouldn't ask you out, but he always avoided the subject like the plague." He put his hand on my shoulder, lightly squeezing for comfort, "If he's marrying Larxene, there's a logical reason."

I sat in silence, both of my friends staring at me – Sora's with concern, and Riku's with sympathy. The news was slowly sinking into my brain, "Hey Riku…" I said, absentmindedly, "Can you do me a favor?"

The look in his eyes disappeared when he heard the serious tone of my voice, nodding, "Anything you need."

"Find out _why_." I said simply. Things I never knew that Axel did, things that hurt me to hear now, things I wish he _told_ me before he left. Maybe, just maybe, if I had known all of that, I could have prevented all this from happening.

But the past is the past – It won't change anything now.

The rest of the day passed in a rush, though I now wish it hadn't. The earlier conversation about Axel had all but been forgotten, and the last few hours we had together we spent just joking and playing around as the friends we were. It was something I hadn't experienced in a while, so being around someone besides Sora was something different and calming.

Before heading home, Riku pulled me off to the side, "You know the deal, spill while he's distracted."

I giggled, "So touchy, Riku. That excited?" I joked. His eyes narrowed and I threw my hands up in defense, "Sorry, sorry. Alright, look, he's practically in _love_ with you. But no matter what, he's waiting for you to make the first move, though I'm pretty sure he'll jump at the chance to say yes."

He nodded once, discreetly, since Sora had returned from the bathroom. I invited Riku to stay the night, but he declined, which in turn upset Sora. We said goodbye, parted ways, then Sora and I headed back to the apartment in a comfortable silence.

"Will you be alright on your own?" He asked as I headed to my room.

At the threshold, I turned, one hand on the doorframe, "Yeah," I smiled, "I'll be fine. If anything, I'll come get you. Good night, Sora."

"G'night, Rox."

* * *

The sunrise woke me up the following morning, and I had a sudden burst of energy and inspiration, I ran into Sora's room to wake him up, "Sora! _Sora_, wake up now!"

My brunette best friend rolled over, eyes blinking open groggily, "Wha'ddya wan?"

"I know how to get back at Axel."

His eye twitched, "You woke me up at," Sora glanced to his Harajuku Girls alarm clock, "Seven thirty in the morning to tell me that?"

I nodded vigorously. He sighed, sitting up, "Okay, I'll bite. What is it?"

"Reno." I said, like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"_What_?" He gave me a skeptical look, "My brain doesn't function in the morning!"

_Or at all_, "Sora, if he's going to marry my cousin, then I can date this brother." I smirked, "It's a two-for-one deal. Make him jealous; get something good out of it."

He smiled deviously back at me, jumping out of bed and rushing into my room, pulling me with him. This, in Sora's terms meant: _You're going to tell me _everything.

"Well," I began, "I had a dream that I kissed Reno. And I mean…I didn't exactly _dislike_ it. I think he's into me, why dance with me like that, right? Okay, anyways. The last thing I said to Axel was something about keeping it in the family. I think the only way to really get at him is by doing what he's doing to me, and date his brother."

Sora stared at me, "Roxas," He smiled, "You're a monster – I love it!"

That afternoon I decided to put my plan into action, I picked up my cell and dialed a familiar number.

"_Hello?_" A voice called from the other end.

I gulped, "Hey, Reno. You busy today?" I heard something being set down as the phone seemed to shift.

"_Nope, want to hang out at your place?_" He questioned, I hummed a sound of agreement and I could practically hear him smiling through the receiver, "_Alright, I'll be over in about fifteen minutes_."

My heart pounded suddenly at the thought of seeing Axel's redheaded twin brother. I wasn't sure why, but I was really excited at seeing him and spending time with him – Alone. I know I shouldn't be, and that this is all for completely selfish reasons, but I can't help it.

"Sora," I called, "Don't you have to go to Riku's or something? Reno is coming over in fifteen minutes and I don't need you cockblocking me."

He giggled, ruffling my blonde spikes as he walked up to me, "Don't worry, I'll leave. Call me when he leaves!" He waved by and left, leaving me to hurry around the house and do a half-assed clean up job before Reno came over.

As I finished making my bed, my doorbell ring and my heart stopped. I straightened myself up and casually strolled to the door, opening it with a smirk.

"Hey." Reno simply said, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. I blushed and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside.

His eyes scanned around the living room, "Hah, this place hasn't change a bi–" I cut him off by pulling him down, crashing my lips against his. At first, his surprise caused him to be unresponsive but it seemed he warmed up quickly as his hands found their way to my hips.

He pulled away slightly, "Didn't think you were this happy to see me."

"I missed you – a lot." I lied. _It's your brother I miss, you're just a replacement._

Reno purred then started kissing me again, pushing me back against a wall, moving to hold my hands above my head. His lips moved from my mouth to my jawline, then down to my neck. Reno removed one hand from restraining me to put under my shirt, his fingers going to tease at my nipples. I moaned slightly, arching into the touch as he sucked along my collarbone.

"This," He pulled the shirt with his teeth, "Off."

Obeying, I pushed him away slightly to pull the shirt off and toss it to the floor. I grabbed the loops in his jeans and pulled his pelvis crashing into mine, causing both of us to groan in unison. Reno continued to attack the newly exposed skin as my hands went to work on undoing that god forsaken denim he was wearing. I needed friction, and _God_ did I need it now.

He must have noticed the trouble I was having focusing and just took his pants off himself, including his boxers, revealing his hardening erection. I stared at it for a second before ripping a hand away from his grip to take hold of him, pumping him slowly. Reno moaned into my neck, bucking his hips into my palm.

"P-pants," I stuttered, "Off. Mine." I couldn't even form a real response but he seemed to know what I was talking about as his hands pulled off the skin-tight jeans. He pulled away and knelt down in front of me, grazing his mouth outside my boxers against my own throbbing member.

"Oh my _god_," I moaned, grabbing the back of his head, "Stop t-teasing."

Reno chuckled, "Alright, alright." He pulled my boxers down, his hand gripping me and thumbing my leaking slit. I almost went over the edge when I felt his hot mouth envelope me. He placed a hand on my stomach to hold me against the wall and gripped me with the other, pumping me along with his mouth. I fisted his hair, trying so hard not to buck into him.

"R-_Reno_, don't…don't stop." I moaned, both hands digging into that red hair. My knees were about to buckle when I felt his throat clench around the head. It wasn't too long after that I felt a warmness build up in the pit of my stomach. _No, not now!_ I thought frantically, _it's too early! I can't…not this soon! _

"A-almost, come…here." I breathed out, trying to calm myself slightly.

I grabbed his head, forcefully pulling him away from his sucking and up to my mouth, crashing our lips together. Grabbing his hips, I pulled him towards me, grinding our erections together. I gasped when he moaned into my mouth, our hips continuously gyrating in tandem. That warm feeling was form at the pit of my stomach, I'd have to assume it was for him as well when his hands hit the wall and his movements became more sporadic and rough. I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling his chest against mine, and thrust upwards against him. Sweat mixed with sweat, moans turned into screams, and within moments, I had release; my sticky substance splattering across both our chests and I knew he was close. I knelt down quickly, taking his twitching cock into my mouth, sucking hard and using my hand to pump him faster into his own ecstasy.

Reno grabbed a few of my spikes, pulling softly, "R-Roxas…I'm gonna…Gonna..." Before he could finish, he released into my mouth; I swallowed what I could when it reached my throat, smiling and slowly pulling my mouth off him. Wiping leftover cum from my mouth, I stood up and hugged him, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"Rox," He panted, "That's the best welcome home I've ever gotten." He kissed my forehead then headed towards my room, "Come shower with me?"

I smirked, "Sure."

What he really meant was, _Ready for round two?_

* * *

When Sora returned a few hours later, I was already cooking us lunch and it was extremely awkward, "So…"

I turned towards him, a look of confusion plastered on my face as I scurried about in the kitchen. He came up next to me and crossed his arms.

"Roxas, what happened? You're _glowing_."

"N-nothing." I blushed, turning the stove off and pulling the grilled cheese out of the pan. I watched him walk to the refrigerator, pulling out a couple of drinks.

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!" I yelled, all but throwing his plate at him.

He chuckled, "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be blushing. Besides, you changed clothes, so you obviously had to shower – But why shower when someone is over…Unless you did something beforehand. Just admit it."

I sighed; I knew Sora taking those psychology classes in high school would prove to be destructive later on in life, "Okay, fine. We fooled around…a couple of times – But nothing too extreme!" I hid my blush behind my hands, ignoring my food.

He smiled triumphantly, "Rox, you really are a monster."

"I _know_." I groaned.

As if on cue, my cell phone started buzzing on the counter, some random Asian ringtone breaking the conversation signifying that I had some type of notification. I picked it up, unlocked the touch screen only to find I had a new text.

A text from Axel.

_Why?_

He knows.

* * *

**A/N** Longest chapter of this story to date – I'm quite proud of myself. No more Sora/Roxas fluff, unfortunately. I thought it was originally too awkward, so I switched it up. I like this version better. For those of you who never _read_ my original version, I spared you. I didn't want it to get _too _heated, at least, not just yet. C; Pardon any errors, half-assed proofread - I'll fix any of them later.


End file.
